Pastor, Don't Come Home with Empty Pockets to a House Full of Strangers
In sales, the warning is, “Don’t come home with a pocket full of cash to a room full of strangers.”
What is being expressed is the very real possibility that you can work so hard making money that you neglect your family. They have everything they want...except you.
If this warning were applied to a pastor, it would sound like, “Don’t come home with empty pockets to a room full of strangers.”
Ministry doesn’t have the income potential like the sales profession. Incremental raises are possible, but no one goes into ministry thinking that they are going to make a lot of money.
However, it is possible to work just as hard as the salesmen (even harder) to the neglect of one’s family. And the challenge is that families won’t have the material comforts or additional revenue for things like weddings and colleges that sales can possibly provide. That makes for potential financial and relationship stressors.
For a while this is sustainable. The husband and wife understand that the call of ministry is a call to “come and die” for the sake of the Gospel. However, one of the qualifications for being in ministry is the ability to care for one’s family. That caring for might not be material wealth, but that caring for is definitely an active love and presence.
An uncared-for family is a potential disqualification of ministry as well.
So, what solutions are there? Well, hard problems call for hard solutions. Here are a few:
One: If you are taking a call, emphasize the priority of your family, and establish boundaries that are nigh unbreakable. Family time, days off, study leave, etc. are sacred apart from agreed-upon circumstances (death in the church, etc.)
Second: Agree upon what dedicated time looks like for you and your family, and live it out. Put the phone away, go for a walk, cook together, etc.
Third: If things are out of control at an existing call, institute number one, but frame it in terms of obedience to your call and as a leader of your family. If it puts your call in jeopardy, then it might be time for a new call. Your family is more important.
A gentle reminder: building the church on top of your family is not glorifying to God, leads to personal burnout, divorces, and broken relationships within your family. Don’t be deceived. It can happen to any pastor. Take this time to not ask for more from your family, but instead, demand less of you for your church.
If Church Training Partners can be a help or encouragement to you, please reach out. We offer individual coaching, church seminars, and online courses.
Don’t go it alone. Even pastors need a pastor.
Gordon Duncan
919-412-8161
gordon@ctpmarketplace.com
www.churchtrainingpartners.com